The people inside
What does your ideal home look like? My true home has far less to do with the ceilings and walls or the style of the window frames but more so with the people living in it. I want to spend my days watching my children play and grow in the backyard. Shrieking and giggling as…
Today is my birthday.
What brings a tear of joy to your eye? My kids woke me up this morning, and while I could have done without them jumping on me, I loved how excited they were to tell me happy birthday. Kaylee immediately started bringing me toys she didn’t play with anymore as gifts. When I started to…
Leaving comfort
I’ve been trying to start caring about my appearance again. Ever since I left serving for working from home, I began gaining weight. I wasn’t running 10,000 steps (according to my fit bit) in two hours anymore. Instead, I got up, put on my most comfy clothes, made the kids breakfast, maybe brushed my hair,…
So everyone will know.
Why do you blog? Mental illness changed my life and the way I look at suffering. It turned me into my absolute worst self, someone I detested. More than that, it was the journey that led me towards that depression. For years, I struggled, fought, cried, and crawled to make sure my family had a…
Blessed
How are you feeling right now? Today, I got my kids ready for their registration/ picture day at school. The night before, Erik and I spent hours coloring and styling Kaylee’s hair so she could have a large strip of her favorite color, purple. When we woke up in the morning, the color was even…
How far you’ve gone
You talk about how far I’ve gone, I dont clean like I used to, I dont cook like I used to. I don’t even play or love like I used to. But why is how far I’ve fallen all you can see? Why do you always talk about these things like they just happened overnight?…
Shattered
I couldn’t do it all on my own anymore. I had been overworked for nearly nine years, running on the most bare minimum of sleep before rushing to work. Make the kids breakfast as quickly as possible, hop on the computer for work, try to keep the kids quiet so I didn’t get in trouble…
Progression of the Negative
We were as poor as it gets. Our survival depended largely on government assistance and anything I could muster up in tips as a waitress. Erik had school during the week, so I had to be there to take care of the kids. So, instead, I worked longer shifts on the weekends. Move faster, I…
Arrested
I was fourteen, chopping some peppers in the kitchen when Mom approached me from behind. I turned to speak with her, but when I did, she saw the knife in my hands and quickly backed away. It was then that I realized that she was actually afraid of me. She truly thought I would do…
Midnight reflection
Late at night, while the world slept, I would find myself drowning in self laothing, pain, and the sweet release death would bring. It was as if an anvil had been placed on my heart, dragging me down, burying me underneath its massive weight. I would contemplate what it would be like, what I would…
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The Ugly Boudoir 