When I was seventeen, my friends and I would gather on the weekends. Usually, Squee, Korin, and me. We would order pizza and soda and sit around my flat screen t.v. Most importantly was the weed.
“Tapey, you ever try purple cush before?” Korin asked.
“No, I don’t think so. Why? Is it good?”
Squee laughed, “Oh, you’re in for a treat.”
We sat on my red leather couches, passing the bong around. When the bong came to me, I lit it and inhaled deeply but coughed it up immediately when my hair started to sizzle.
Korin burst out in laughter, “Tapey, how do you do that? Your hair isn’t even long enough to reach the flames!”
I sputtered between coughs, “Shut up, I’m just that kind of lucky, okay?”
“Hey,” korin said, looking serious.
“Hey,” I smiled.
Korin made dramatic eyebrows, “Super Smash Bros?”
“Oh,” I giggled, “yes!”
We started up the game and shuffled through the characters, picking who to play.
“What? Tapey, you can’t pick Kirby. He’s like, the most bullshit out of all of them,” Squee scoffed.
Korin nodded, “He’s right, you can’t Tapey.”
“Shut your faces, don’t you talk shit about my cute little mush face. You’re just mad cause that sappy little face is gonna kick your ass.”
“As if, bring it Tapey,” Squee retorted.
“Oh, look at that. Look who just took Squee’s first life. This adorable little mush face, that’s who.”
“Only cause you’re playing the world’s biggest dick sucker.”
Korin nodded, “He’s right, Tapey. He is the biggest dick sucker.”
“What, no he isn’t.”
“Look at that big pink mouth Tapey, and what’s he do all day? He sucks, Tapey. He fucking sucks,” Squee retorted.
I laughed, “Nuh-uh, he eats your souls and wears them as his skin, obviously. Boom, got you again.”
Korins tone turned serious, “That would essentially make him gluttony in a cute pink package. Tapey, we need to kill that thing.”
“You just made me like him more. I’m coming for your soul, Squee.”
“Good luck with that.”
I burst out laughing, “No fair! Korin made me laugh. What are you even doing over there?”
“I’m attacking this wall,” Korin said plainly.
“But why? Squee, stop killing me. I need to know what’s going on with this wall.”
“It’s just standing there, always looking down on me.”
“…okay,” I giggled.
“I mean, just look at it. It’s so tall and so thick. Like he’s better than me.”
Squee and I were dying in our chairs, watching Korin try to defeat this digital wall.
“This wall doesn’t know me. He doesn’t know my life.”
I tried to sound serious, “I’m offended. Do you think it’s a guy? It’s all flat from what I can see.”
“Fine, I don’t care if it’s a woman. No woman or man gets to look down on me, so I’m gonna beat the shit outa this wall.”
“I’m with you!” Squee yelled.
“Alright, fine!” I laughed menacingly, floating Kirby up and slamming down on them both. “Woops, looks like I killed you both.”
“You’re the worst, Tapey.”
Korin nodded, “You are the worst, Tapey.”
The Ugly Boudoir 